On Choosing Authenticity Over Scale

Previously published Jan 27, 2026

I’ve always hated sales. When I was in college, I worked at a Gap store for a bit. I was good at it, but I felt uncomfortable every day. It felt manipulative to try to get people to buy something so I could make a small commission. So, I didn’t. I tried to be helpful and let people decide what they wanted to buy, if anything. At the time, I thought this was just a quirk of my personality. I didn't realize it pointed to something deeper.

The Importance of Relationships in Sales

I know now that some salespeople take a similar approach. They believe a hard sell is often counterproductive. If people feel respected and cared for, they are more likely to return and recommend the store to others, even if they bought nothing initially. It’s about the relationship with the potential customer.

I avoided “salesy” jobs over the years. However, being an activist and leader of a non-profit clearly crossed that line. My aversion to sales came up in fundraising. Initially, I felt extreme discomfort trying to convince people to “give” us money. Fortunately, one of our leading activists gave me a tutorial on fundraising that shifted my paradigm. She told me that most people I would ask for money would be donating to one or more causes that year. I was helping them make sure it went to an organization worthy of their support. It was a cause and an organization I had given up my career for and was dedicating my time and money to as well. I was trying to help them feel the same sense of satisfaction I was experiencing. Mind blown.

Transitioning to Entrepreneurship

Now, two decades later, here I am: an entrepreneur—something I never thought I would say! And I need to “market” my business. So, I post on social media, take seminars and workshops on marketing and scaling my coaching business, and listen to podcasts on small business marketing.

At first, I leaned into it. I’ve coached in various settings for years—I enjoy it and I’m good at it. Sure, I work on my professional development as a coach: reading, listening, taking workshops. But my real area of potential growth, my discomfort zone, has been on the business and marketing side. I saw that as an exciting opportunity to stretch and learn.

The Pressure to Conform

But the more I learned, the more I found myself following the trends. I was doing what I “should” do according to the experts and gurus. I felt a little less authentic with every reel. It felt forced. I felt the pressure to scale my business so I, too, could become a guru.

Then I had some health scares this year. Nothing focuses the mind like mortality. Suddenly, the question wasn’t “How do I scale?” but “Why am I doing this at all?”

The answer: to make a difference in the lives of others. To do that, I need to ensure that the potential clients who could benefit from my coaching can find me. That’s it. Just be authentic, speak from the heart, and help people understand me, what makes me tick, and how I try to help people.

Embracing Authenticity

Don’t chase the algorithms. Don’t yield to the pressure to post daily. Don’t become obsessed with client pain points and outcomes. Certainly, don’t overpromise. Instead, put out lots of loving energy, empathy, and compassion. Trust that the people who are looking for me will find me. After that, good stuff will almost always happen—if they are ready to do the work.

I’m also realizing I want to build community—something my past careers provided naturally and I’ve been missing. That’s a good in itself. Good for me, good for others, good for a world that desperately needs a revolution of love.

A New Approach to Life and Work

So I'm stepping back from the daily grind of social media. I’m focusing on showing up in ways that reflect my values, my integrity, and my heart. I plan to write more here, finish my memoir, and speak when it feels right. I’m not disappearing—just showing up in ways that feel honest and sustainable. I trust that the people looking for me will find me. I’m choosing to build everything—my work, my life, my relationships—from that foundation.

In this journey, I’ve learned that authenticity is more than a buzzword. It’s a way of life. It’s about being true to yourself and your values. It’s about connecting deeply with others. When we choose authenticity over scale, we create meaningful relationships. We foster a community that thrives on love and support.

Let’s embrace this journey together. Let’s choose authenticity and watch how it transforms our lives and the lives of those around us.