The Best Wedding Vows I've Ever Heard
This past weekend, I watched two former students get married.
I taught them a decade ago, back when they were teenagers at the lab school I ran — and somewhere in those hallways, they fell in love.
Watching them stand up together as adults, I had a unique vantage point: I remembered who they were at fifteen. And I can tell you, they were special people at 15 and they had grown into themselves beautifully.
I think their vows were the best I've ever heard. Not because they were clever (though they were) or polished, but because of what they revealed about how they see each other and how they've evolved over the years.
Sara talked about Jake's insatiable curiosity — how there is always more of the world and of other people, including her, he wants to understand. Jake said something about Sara that did not surprise me: everyone she knows thinks she's their best friend.
That's not an accident, and it's not a personality quirk. It means she has made an enormous number of people feel like the most interesting and important person in the room.
Two different descriptions, same underlying trait: curiosity. About the world and about people. And watching them together, I realized that's exactly what I saw between them, too: two people who've known each other over a decade, who could easily be running on autopilot by now, and instead still ask each other real questions. Still find each other worth discovering.
I gave a live session last week on loving well, and a core teaching of it was this: curiosity is one of the real keys to loving people well — especially the ones you've known the longest. Familiarity is supposed to breed contempt, or at least boredom. But I watched two people prove the opposite is possible. They know each other deeply, and they still approach each other with wonder. Curiosity didn't wear off. They keep choosing it.
A question to sit with this week: Think of someone you've known a long time — a partner, a friend, a family member. What's one thing about them you're still curious about? When did you last ask?
One thing: The video of my live session on loving well is available on YouTube, let me know what resonated with you: https://youtu.be/nFGXFlhf_dQ
And if something in this letter landed and you want to talk it through, my calendar is always open for a conversation:
Sending lots of good energy your way,
Steve
Visit us at www.integrityandjoy.com
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