The Hidden Cost of Drifting

Why waiting too long to steer your own life is more expensive than you think

Previously published Sep 15, 2025

The riskiest choice I ever made was the one that felt safest: following someone else’s map for my life.

One of my college friends visited this weekend and we talked about pivotal moments in our lives, the ones where everything changes, doors open and your life unfolds in a new way.

I was thinking about that today and realized that one of those pivotal moments came after a period of drifting, feeling stuck. Have you ever felt like you were stuck or just drifting? Maybe you know someone who feels like that now.

When I was in college, I found myself my junior year on a track to go to law school after graduation. It wasn’t because I had a passion for the law —I didn’t. I realized one day that I was basically following the map my mother had laid out for me since I was a little kid: go to a good college and be a doctor or a lawyer. Once I had felt boxed out of my dream career —marine biologist — by my choice in college, I had taken the path of least resistance and defaulted to her map — a safe, conventional path, but not one aligned with what I valued or wanted.

Deep down, however, I knew this was not my life. When I finally came to that realization, I felt liberated and my path —based on my interests and passions, my values, my curiosity —became clear as day. It led me into Soviet studies (it was the Cold War), the US Foreign Service and diplomacy, my eventual resignation over Bosnia and years as an activist, then teaching and now life coaching.

But it all started with the realization that drifting along, following my mom’s vision for my career —which felt obvious and safe at the time —was actually the most risky choice. Remaining stuck on the wrong path costs us time, confidence and a true sense of direction. While it can feel a little scary charting your own course, it’s also exhilarating. There’s a confidence and peace that comes from living in alignment with your core values, passions, and purpose.

Staying stuck or adrift might feel familiar and safe, but it actually costs us more than we can admit in the moment. The real risk isn’t failure —that’s usually a learning opportunity —it’s regret from never trying. Especially the “what if…?” moments. We tend to regret the chances we don’t take rather than the ones we do.

That’s why I became a coach, and it’s the vision behind the new program I’m launching, Aligned & Unshakable™. I know too many people adrift or stuck, following someone else’s map and thinking they are “playing it safe” when in reality they are making choices out of fear rather than courage. They are denying themselves the chance to discover their authentic self, build deeper connections, and live with purpose. Helping people reverse course and chart their own map is one of the greatest thrills of my work.

If you or someone you know has been drifting, waiting for the “right moment” to take control, then this is your/their invitation. Aligned & Unshakable™ is my 8-week coaching experience where I’ll guide you step-by-step through clarifying your values, transforming your inner voice, and taking bold, aligned action.

If this resonates, I'd love to talk. Book a free consultation and let's figure out where you are and what's next.